A complete short story by in House Short Story person Juan Jin Yee

He wasn't home more than two-hundred seconds before a tap on the door startled Alvin Davidson. There was laughter that followed the tapping, and that bout made Alvin shit his pants. He knew who it was, it was the bullies from school. They followed him home. And of course they knew his momma wasn't home, she was still at school principaling it up. Knock Knock Knock, and more laughter. Haunting laughter. The same laughter he heard last time they beat him pretty bad.

Alvin snuck down and crawled to the front door, making sure it was locked. Watching all them army cartoons like GI Joe and Heathcliffe trained him in the ways of army dudes. And all of sudden he had the urge to finish things, once and for all with these dang bullies!

What he did next can only be summed up like this:

Real Short Attention What? Interview

......and review. In honor of the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's Death (June 25th) and National Popsicle Hour (June 20th 3 PM Eastern), we here at Short Attention What?, well specifically me here (Rashad) at SAW have put together a tribute to both.

We learned a lot about the fresh, delicious, new Atlanta business called King of Pops through our interview with one of the men behind the idea. We learned quite a bit less in the outtakes portion of said interview. Please view both.


INTERVIEW:






REVIEW:

What we ordered: Strawberry Lemonade

Why'd we order it: because almost everything else was sold out. And also because we like strawberry and lemonade, whats wrong with strawberry and lemonade? you got a problem with strawberry and lemonade? thought so!

How was it?: On a million degree day like today? shit hit the spot yo.

How many blocks of walking before fingers turn sticky? : Two

We can not stress enough how important it is that each and every one of you goes out there and get you some pops! We also want to thank Steven for his patience and his good sense of humor.

Visit King of Pops website at http://kingofpops.net/

OUTTAKES:

Music Nerd Heather reports nothing about music in this post.

just found this funny.

-Heather

Um. OK. This kid is normal and stuff.

Doesn't it seem like the ICarly star has had a 15 year career as TV Chef extraordinaire?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Which brings us to the Tri-Monthly Food Television question of the month presented by MONTH MAGAZINE a weekly editorial celebrating Months and things like them.......


"Favorite Food Television Personality currently on TV?"







shit....................like you even had to ask




Manouschka Guerrier-NEVER FORGET IT!

Boycott BP............in ten years.

We need them to be able to afford the fix-job and clean up that needs to be going on NOW. A boycott now is pointless. But, a master plan for a boycott in ten years from now whence we are all plugged up and sparkly, that readers is a good idea (gives us ample time to plan this whole thing out perfectly). So lets hurry up and wait!



I still commend the Atlanta street artists that are getting that message out there. This piece done at the Krog Street tunnel has been well documented....see it here-




But we prefer these that have been popping up round town. We caught this one in the Poncey Highlands area of the A.

Calvin's Quotables # 2

On Friday Calvin came into the office talking a lot of smack to any Boston Celtics fan he could find. Calvin, the man spotted here on his way to work, summed it all up with this- the second Calvin Quotable:

That game was one for all ages


some of us around the water cooler thought, "um, no it wasn't, game didn't start till 9:08 PM, there weren't many kids that could stay up for the second half, and old people snoozed well before the intense fourth quarter,,,so Calvin, uh, no this wasn't one for ALL ages."

Don't know how to add contacts to your phone?

do what this tech savvy person did

Manute Bol RIP

Manute Bol (pictured here with Hakeem the Dream) dies today....thanks Obama!

Calvin's Quotables # 1

You learn something new everyday. Of course, this causes some old knowledge to be pushed out ... So really it's just a wash.

Tom Robbins chats it up on Raid EEE Oh N A Far in Count Tree

Several employees within the literature Dept. here at Short Attention What? have some sort of fascination with this red head writer who resides in the State's pacific northwest... and while not every employee of said department subscribe to writings of a man who once had a work published which featured a character knowledgeable of the word vagina in 71 separate languages, still a surprisingly decent amount of us do indeed hold subscriptions to the philosophies of the complexity and silliness that is Mr. Robbins.

dig this three part radio interview; and then or instead (if your time is permitted) dig the short edit..

For the Love of God MAKE IT STOP: Samsung Edition! or How to enjoy the World Cup with NO buzzing sound

If you are like us and the majority of SANE sports fans, the World Cup hasn't been the enjoyable experience we had hoped for. And it all boils down to one GODANG SOUND- MAKE IT FRIGGIN STOP ALREADY, BLAH BLAH BLAH, CAN"T EVEN HEAR MYSELF TYPE. Arggh, alrght, now that we got that off our chests.. here our some instructions we found from the massive hillarious network calling themselves Reddit.


How to tune out the vuvuzela buzz on a Samsung TV. Menu/Vol/EQ It's Bb, so drop 300Hz and boost adjacent eqs. Save as Custom. Done!

3 Ryan Adams posts in a row?

Ryan Adams Oh, my God, Whatever Etc

Nick | MySpace Video


What has gotten in to us? this is supposed to be a blog that jumps from topic to topic before the reader can taste, yet alone swallow and consume the initial material. But the news and or rumors and or nonsense and or MOST IMPORTANT TRUTH IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD keeps on flying in....


this came from a super stalk mode by the other Obssessed Ryan Adams Music nerd employed by SAW- Jessica. And what did I find, you might want to know? I spotted this quote from DRA himself in reference to the news of Cardinals III/IV on a RA message board:


who knows, maybe the boys and I will be able to put some new wiring in the signal this fall. you never know.

is he hinting at a return of the cards? a studio thing? a touring thing? a both thing? I WANT TO KNOW-thing!

thoughts?

Music Nerd Heather reports: Follow up to last nights exciting Ryan Adams news...

We were in full stalk mode after the news broke last night regarding the two releases from Ryan Adams Vault....while in Stalk Mode we came across a couple of new findings on a super secret ryan adams message board. The first was a post DRA himself posted about the line up on Cardinals III/IV


here is what he had to say:

III/IV line-up
DRA, Brad Pemberton, Catherine Popper ( her last with the bad and she sings on this one a good bit ) Neal Casal ( his first with the band )Jon Graboff ( although he is not on every track he is b.a.d.a.s.s. on this- I mean, space-rock pedal steel and out of this world playing, and Jamie C is also on this playing some kickass piano and some rhodes, B-3 hammond whatever on "Dear Candy"
It's a crazy listen. 4 sides of serious old-school post-rock, post-punk American RocknRoll kinda stuff.
It sounds more like what live Cards sounded like in my opinion.


He also made a post dropping clues as to what we might expect from the 11 song demo he just recorded, the man posted this about that:

Making the album of my life. This feels like the career statement. Massive acoustic tunes. Harp. Just bass, drums, acoustic, me and some piano. might get my pal to come in and just barely ease some steel on here.
also no overdubs or tons of backing vocals, just raw and real and me telling these stories. there is some NOLA vibe here but if i could say what the tunes are most reminding me of I would say the InnTown, WT vibe, the HRTBRKR SCarolina vibe and TOTALLY JCN vibe.
No overworked pretty just raw tunes. Not smoking has made me sing way better too. I can actually sing a bit more like I used to and I'm not gaspin for air.
It feels good to be back in the flow.

Back to Super Stealth Stalk Mode- till next time- Heather

Ryan Adams going through his vault, picking out goodies

Great news for Adams fans going through withdrawal....after the recent Heavy Metal Release- it looks like Adams is digging up two projects that the girls from the music department here have been gabbing about for a long time now. When I just spilled the beans about the two facebook posts adams just gave, I beleive the direct quote thrown at me from either Heather or Jessica was "Holy fuckin gawd dang bitch ass- holy Curse word, curse word, SHIT-STUFF YO!" . Didn't make much sense to me either... But anyway, read for yourself what Adams has posted on his facebook site, .... purty X-sight-in!



Ryan Adams: "Ryan Adams & The Cardinals, "III/IV" Double LP, ( unreleased and in the vault since 2006 ) fresh from the mastering plant! Also day one of demo's went great! Have A GREAT WEEKEND yall and that's an order. XX DRA




oh yeah, p.s. the "Blackhole" LP ( recorded over Christmas in 2005 ) is also back from the mastering plant. I f'n love this thing. It took 4 years to make it and to me it is basically Love is Hell Part 3... lots of shimmery guitar love on this. Exciting times!!!

Ding Dong Big 12 is Dead........OR......We're not Playing in Kansas anymore.

Looks like the Big 12 is Dead with its South division (sans Baylor, plus Brahlarado) accepting the challenge of sending their girls softball teams on 2 week west coast trips ALA MLB teams. Of course there is more to it than girls softball, but not much. I suppose money might be one of those things that it might be more about.

Nebraska heads up to the Big 10, along with Mizzou maybe? and possibly others.

The SEC then might poach the ACC, then the ACC poaches the Big East?

then what? then, we have 4 super conferences, which might very well lead to ...wait for it, stop drooling pigskin freaks, I will say it, but just give me a minute to stretch, all right, ahhhh, now are you ready, the END GAME HERE VERY WELL MIGHT BE A FOR REAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF!!!! REJOICE, REJOICE ALL!

of course, that might be several years away, but yes, what i am saying is there's a chance.

Blitzen Trapper Atlanta 6-9-10 Variety Playhouse Review

I received a call from my contact over at Short Attention What? that they needed someone to get down to the Variety Playhouse to review a live performance by Beard-Rockers Blitzen Trapper. I decided to take lots of pictures and have them do the story telling as I feel it is easier on the eyes than actually reading a live music review.... So, words- we will do our best to keep you to a minimum- here it goes..


the band came out looking great, sounding great, but not smelling so good...i am not making this up, was very close and could smell em



but their sound was more unique than their smell.



Lyrically challenging..




Rock N Roll to the core, but distinctly Pacific Northwest-here's some more shots i took of the band last night






















I make jokes with pictures, hahaha..but seriously these guys are their own thing, sure they have influences, then again- who doesn't- They are more outlaw than wilco, more modern than dylan...Potential is what they got. Both Albums are solid. No songs last night sucked. most of em, kinda ruled, but they smellled.

Here are some more pics from last nights show...















I think my photos turned out great and really tell the whole story. Anyway here is VIDEO from a show a few weeks ago. My still cam was Obviously working great last night, but no video-Anyway, dig it, dig them, go see em and smell em.

Omar's coming ........ with a paintball gun

We dig us some omar graffitti

heres your chance to take out Omar and the rest of the gang from everyone's favorite Baltimore crime show- which appeared on HBO in the early 2000's...do you know what show we talkin bout? How'd you guess? The Wire- Play paintball against em for realz- check it out here..

http://movingmountainsnyc.org/paintball2010.php

In honor of Los Lakers / Bahston Celtics game tonight....

we want you to remember this great Celtics themed Cheers episode... as the old saying goes, don't get caught watching the paint dr---- errr- don't get caught Counting the Bolts in the floor.

An interesting theory thrown our way this weekend...

about the oil spill, it came from a friend of short attention what? who heard it from a friend's uncle....want it hear it? here it goes.....


Months back BP scientists confirmed a terrible, terrible discovery...the story goes- that the scientists studying the depths of the earths (yes the s was used at the end of earths when we heards the story- yes we just typed heards, instead of heard to go with the earths we typeds befores, anyway-) as they studied they discovered the earth was illing- it was spewing out an unnormal amount of warning signs- volcanoes -not that kind, the real kind, it was rambling up an ungawdly amount of earthquakes, hurricanes , all sorts of stuff and the BP scientist saw even worse things coming, but they also figured out a way how to release the tension--- their answer: RELEASE THE OIL. They approached Mr. Obama, he was probably like, "Holy Shit" and did what had to be done, to save everyone. Or so the story goes.


Now, I won't say it is impossible, because as Matt Groening once wrote in SAW's alltime favorite Life in Hell Comic: Nothing is impossible, not even a new born infant counting every grain of sand in the entire world, in a fraction of a second." So, if that is not imossible, then nothing is, but it sure is hell ain't likely.

We could not for the life of us find the comic referenced in this blog, but if you find it, and send us a picture file of it, we will love you forever and post it right here in this post,,but for now, you can just enjoy some other life in hell we found.

Every Single Ryan Adams performance on David Letterman that Short Attention What? knows of

we are aware that in order to get through this post it may take a different kind of brain power than you have become accustom to using whilst on thist site.. and we respect the short attention what of you- the faithful- but keep in mind, each song is different-and the dood does kinda change his fashion style up from performance to performance in some-um that could please madonna. so without further ado- we present- err, actually hold up, we would like to add just a lil bit more ado- notice how in some of these late night performances dood hangs on to Mr. Letterman's hand an uncomfortable amount of time? we're not talking 10's of seconds too long, but still just a tad too long, like perhaps 2 or 3 seconds too long? no more ado- now just the songs, in proper chronological order alphabetized.
New York, New York 10-4-01




Harder they come 11-04-02




Starting to hurt 12-10-02




So Alive 1-5-4



Let it ride- 5-5-5




Come pick me up 11-4-05



America: Ride on 1/15/07



Two- 6/22/07




I taught myself how to grow old -6/22/07



Everybody knows 11/1/07



How do you Keep love alive/ Pearls on a string 11/1/07











Fix it 10/29/08





Cobwebs 10/29/08



Ryan Adams recently released a heavy metal album on vinyl and digital download only called Orion. Are we gonna see him pimping this album on letterman in the coming months? doubt it.

Tom Robbins ....

was on motha fuckin NPR's news quiz show Wait, Wait don't tell me today. We all heard it together during our quarterly Short Attention What? Saturday Morning Office Party. We bout shit ourselves. all of us. Anyway, dude was awesome as usual. follow this link right here...http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=35

Banksy: Goin Goin Gone! 3 or Just another redicoulous Banksy Protrait

A lil headsup about the staff here at short attention what? 70 percent of us are female. and 70 percent of that 70 percent have a crush on Mr. B (thats 49 percent of the overall staff for you keeping score at home) Could it be that we love what he does? nah. Could it be that he is the most mysterious man in the art world? i think we have a winner!

Staying consistent with our run of Bankys goin goin gone. This next peice of street art was only present on the stage during the moments whilst it was made. A street artist being drawn by an unsuspecting "street artist", whilst being photographed by the "mysterious" street artist's even more mysterious friend? this we could get behind.

click on image for a larger image (we like to re-use words in the same sentence here at short attention what? like we did here in this here sentence with the word image. oh and i suppose we also did it with the word here, and i guess also the word also, and in, I, and, with)

Rules rules rules; this Blog is a game, ROUND 2

for this month, we will simply choose three of our favorite emails, you can enter as many times as you want, and if you indeed have our three favorite individual emails, then yes you can win all three prizes (saves us on shipping anyway) Winners win winning items

good lunch to all of you!

The results are in...First Month Winners... are announced below

Coming in 3rd place this month with a whopping 11 points- Denver, Colorodo's Bonnie V. Her email regarding the Post: Banksy: Goin goin gone! OR Diamonds WERE a girls best friend was outstanding, she wrote:

"Hey Shortattentionwhat- I thought your blog post was very informative, a bit too long but altogether quite average, thank you for that."

And for being so on top of things, Bonnie wins a gift prize to AMC theatres which include 2 tickets and 30 dollars of concession stand goods.

Coming in 2nd place with a strong 17 points - Ashville, NC's Jermaine W. Jermaine wowed the SAW reviewers with this email about the post: Dennis Hopper, Arnold Jackson Dead, Thanks a lot Obama

"How in the world can you possibly think Obama killed these actors. So f'in stupid! and um, by the way- you dumbasses have a picture of Webster- Emanuel Lewis instead of Gary Coleman, ha, stupid."

Jermaine wins an unused ticket stub to Roy Haladay's perfect game against the Florida Marlins purchased through the Marlins website, which by the way might be the saddest idea of revuue stream for an MLB team. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5236340

and first prize winner this month was - Tallahassee, Florida's Steve B- Steve had this brilliant retort to our post : I knew there was another reason I could not root for the Magic Last Night

"solid"

He wins Shepard Fairey Signed and numbered Mint Condition Print: These parties disgust me, as well as a broken Play Station two game controller.

We here at Short Attention What? got the go ahead from the winners to post their emails, but for future contests- we are giving word, by entering an email you give us the right to publish said email in a blog post (if you are so lucky enough to win)

Now Obama

Now, Obama went and killed Blanche from Golden Girls...for fuck sakes!

Contest Contest CONTEST

The first person to email shortattentionwhat@gmail.com on August the 11th after 12 noon est with the words, "hobnob balderdash owlface" wins a $50 best buy gift certificate.