the Urban Files 2

As many of you know, we have heavy FSU representation here at the ole Short Attention What? Sports Department. Therefore, in an effort to keep things fair, we have allowed our token Gator Alum to spout his gator news (nonsense) in a weekly report called the Urban Files:

-Kind of quiet on gathering information as Coach Meyer has closed practices like our young D-Lineman will close any holes. However, we still have sources willing to give us some nuggets. But before we get into all that, we would like to speak on the Emmitt Smith Hall of Fame speech. There is a lot of outcry from gator nation regarding the apparent snubbing of a Florida Gator mention in his speech. Emmitt went out of his way to mention his error on the broadcast of the Hall of Fame game the following night. The guy simply forgot. He was not using notes and he did not do that on purpose. So, Emmitt is good by us.

-Brantley continues to impress developing a strong relationship with our speedy receivers. One set back though is freshman Chris Dunkley pulled a hammy and our wise coaches are not rushing him back. -Look for Freshman Defensive End Lynden Trail to make an immediate impact. Trail brings a toughness and character that can only be had by growing up in the mean streets of Miami. According to sources Trail is like 7 foot 9 and will block a field goal every other game. I kid of course, but dude is tall as hell and athletic as can be. He is only part of that freshman d line class that is unmatched in the history of the game.

-Demps is even faster than last year. The thing about Demps though, is his toughness. One player we spoke to said Demps caught a pass and trucked Jon Bostic and kept on running.

-Patchan got hurt again.

-Meyer is a class act in going to honor Emmitt at the Hall.

-Oh, yeah, and the canes think they are back. Ha ha ha.

Editor's (FSU's) Note:

Just a couple things. Emmitt reportedly hired a speech coach and practiced his speech to the point of memorization. The snub had to be on purpose. Only other thing is about Lynden Trail. Perhaps, Trail is good people. But do not forget that it was this photo of Trail holding up gang signs that shocked the recruiting world a few months ago:

The same type of images surfaced while Nu'keese Richardson was being recruited and we all remember how that turned out:

the Urban Files 1

As many of you know, we have heavy FSU representation here at the ole Short Attention What? Sports Department. Therefore, in an effort to keep things fair, we have allowed our token Gator Alum to spout his gator news (nonsense) in a weekly report called the Urban Files:

-First year in the post-Tebow world of Gainesville should not have us fans worried. On the contrary actually. New starting Quarterback John Brantley throws a better ball than his predecessor and has the weapons to get it to. Expect to see Brantley under center a lot more than Tebow. Also expect to see some two back sets. The speed Brantley has around him is unmatched in the college football world. The one thing I'm slightly concerned about is his leadership. Obviously in Tebow we had the greatest leader the college football world has witnessed in the last several decades. So that is the big question mark with Brantley: Can he show at least a percentage of that leadership Tebow held. All reports from sources in Gainesvile say an astounding YES!

-On the defensive side of the ball, we lost some leaders as well in CB Haden and LB Spikes. Both high character guys that led our defense by example. How will this team rebound? Easy- their names are Jelani Jenkins and Jon Bostic. Both of these young L-Backers are smart, hit hard and are ready. One name to keep an eye out for though- is incoming freshman Michael Taylor (non stop motor).

-We brought in the best D-line class we have ever seen in Gainseville. The people in the know that I have spoken with say, Ronald Powell and Sharif Floyd will certainly see playing time. He also told me that (now veteran) Omar Hunter should be the dominant D Tackle we were all expecting.

-congrats to Emmit Smith on being inducted to the NFL Hall of Fame! Many more Gators are sure to join him soon.

-One other nugget. Andre Debose is practicing! Andre Debose is practicing! Thats right! For the first time since his arrival, Percy-clone Andre Debose is practicing and will without a doubt be the most exciting newcomer to the college football world this year. Don't beleive me? watch exhibit A below:

Every week, this token gator trapped in an Online-Nole-World gets to express his views, news and nuggets from Titletown. Come back every week! Go Gators!

Editor's (FSU's) note:

Just want to make sure everyone knows that when you speak of Brandon Spikes as a high charcater guy....who led your defense by example, that this is the same Brandon Spikes you were referring to:

Also, we beg to differ that Debose will without a doubt be the most exciting newcomer to the college football world this year. We present exhibit B:

Winners announced for July

1st prize- Jonah L from Portland, Oregon... The winning email, " Dear Short Attention What? Are guys real? Heard a rumor you were simply some writers from Cartoon Networks' Adult Swim just fucking around. Any truth to that rumor?"

Good Email Jonah. For that you win this Squidbillies Booty Hunter Hat

And also this copy of the Squidbillies Volume 2



As well as this Tim and Eric Awesome Show, great job Art Print:



And Jonah, these gifts may or may not come signed from some certain people....



Our second place winner this month is Arnie B. from New York City, with an email that said, "How dare you call out two young athletes for something you have no idea about, you lil motha fu- , you basement hiding, geeky tool!!! Go Gators!"

Arnie, you win 3 Chicken dinners to Kenny Loggins Roaster (Includes two sides and a drink).



And this signed autograph picture of the greatest quarterback to ever play in the state of Florida.







And our 3rd prize winner was Dale from Gainesville, Florida. Dales winning email simply read, "This is in response to the Future NFL Rookie of the years post- It's called Gatorade!"

Not original, seeing as Chan had already posted this witty response in the comments section of the post, but it still made us smirk. So, Dale you win a ten dollar bill and 5 unlabeled CDs (not all too scratched up) that we found in our various cars and have not even listened to them to confirm what they are.

Was Bobby Bowden on the take?

We have been receiving loads of angry email about this post http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/future-rookie-of-years-in-gainesville.htm The hate is coming mainly from Florida Gator fans. They claim the Short Attention What? Sports Dept. have a pro FSU bias. And while it is true that the majority of the SAW? Sports Department are indeed Florida State University Graduates, we plan to prove to you that this will not lead to a bias on this site. Now, we know that the photos of Dunkley and Elam may very well be pretty damning. So, we have set out to find equally damning photos of FSU. It took us some time, but we finally found one.


This photo was taken while Bobby Bowden was still head coach of FSU... And now it becomes suddenly obvious why so many games were lost to the Miami Hurricanes.



Was Bowden on the take? Can't say for sure, but he sure acted over the top, pretending he had nothing to do with the installation of magnetic football repelling goal posts that were obviously used for the Wide Right and Left games as seen below...



-Marq S
Short Attention What? Sports department Head Chief Assistant to the Assistant of the lowest man on the Board of Sports and Billboards Department




also, do not forget to send an email and have chance to win. details here http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/this-blog-is-game-new-monthly-contest.html