Urban Files 3: In the Year One A.T.

As many of you know, we have heavy FSU representation here at the ole Short Attention What? Sports Department. Therefore, in an effort to keep things fair, we have allowed our token Gator Alum to spout his gator news (nonsense) in a weekly report called the Urban Files

First things first, FSU's New Head Coach Jimbo Fischer will not refer to Our Gators as Gators, or even as the University of Florida. No. The new Nole head man now calls us, "that little team down the road". I can do nothing but laugh at that. He just called the team who imo is the most dominant CFB Program of the last two decades, "that little team down the road." He hasn't even coached against us yet. Unbelievable. On to news and notes.

-In the Year 1 A.T. (After Tebow), our QB play will not miss a beat. The chemistry between John Brantley (seen here with his newly Kerwin Bell Inspired stache) and Deonte Thompson is like nothing we have seen before in Gainesville. Maybe its because they have risen up through the ranks together. Maybe it is because they have a unique relationship off the field. Or maybe its just because they are damn good and practice hard. Whatever the reasons, the QB to WR connection is bringing up comparisons to Manning/ Harrison!

-Demps will start at RB, Moody will back him up. Mack Brown looks good- will probably not shirt.

-DL coud be our strongest position. What i mean by that is depth and skill. We are just absolutely loaded with NFL type lineman. Everyday it's somebody else that stars.

-On the recruiting front, we picked up CB Nick Waisome. Probably the best corner in the state this year. And could have the best cover skills of any corner in the entire nation. We whiffed on RB James Wilder, Jr. But it was not quite as it seems. We wanted him as a defensive player and he wanted to play RB. IMO, we have bigger fish to fry. Not the loss some people might think.


FSU's (Editor B Smith's) Note: From now on, you will always be known as "that little team down the road" to us. Too fuckin good! Read it HERE.

Previous Urban Files:

Urban Files 1

Urban Files 2

Friar Tebow.

Denver Bronco rookie is the new guy. Rookies sometimes get hazed. That's what happened to Tebow here. The thing is, this wasn't done by veteran Denver Broncos players. No, this was done by the high school kids at Tim Tebow's new church in Denver. Oh you funny high school kids you!

the Urban Files 1

As many of you know, we have heavy FSU representation here at the ole Short Attention What? Sports Department. Therefore, in an effort to keep things fair, we have allowed our token Gator Alum to spout his gator news (nonsense) in a weekly report called the Urban Files:

-First year in the post-Tebow world of Gainesville should not have us fans worried. On the contrary actually. New starting Quarterback John Brantley throws a better ball than his predecessor and has the weapons to get it to. Expect to see Brantley under center a lot more than Tebow. Also expect to see some two back sets. The speed Brantley has around him is unmatched in the college football world. The one thing I'm slightly concerned about is his leadership. Obviously in Tebow we had the greatest leader the college football world has witnessed in the last several decades. So that is the big question mark with Brantley: Can he show at least a percentage of that leadership Tebow held. All reports from sources in Gainesvile say an astounding YES!

-On the defensive side of the ball, we lost some leaders as well in CB Haden and LB Spikes. Both high character guys that led our defense by example. How will this team rebound? Easy- their names are Jelani Jenkins and Jon Bostic. Both of these young L-Backers are smart, hit hard and are ready. One name to keep an eye out for though- is incoming freshman Michael Taylor (non stop motor).

-We brought in the best D-line class we have ever seen in Gainseville. The people in the know that I have spoken with say, Ronald Powell and Sharif Floyd will certainly see playing time. He also told me that (now veteran) Omar Hunter should be the dominant D Tackle we were all expecting.

-congrats to Emmit Smith on being inducted to the NFL Hall of Fame! Many more Gators are sure to join him soon.

-One other nugget. Andre Debose is practicing! Andre Debose is practicing! Thats right! For the first time since his arrival, Percy-clone Andre Debose is practicing and will without a doubt be the most exciting newcomer to the college football world this year. Don't beleive me? watch exhibit A below:

Every week, this token gator trapped in an Online-Nole-World gets to express his views, news and nuggets from Titletown. Come back every week! Go Gators!

Editor's (FSU's) note:

Just want to make sure everyone knows that when you speak of Brandon Spikes as a high charcater guy....who led your defense by example, that this is the same Brandon Spikes you were referring to:

Also, we beg to differ that Debose will without a doubt be the most exciting newcomer to the college football world this year. We present exhibit B:

Winners announced for July

1st prize- Jonah L from Portland, Oregon... The winning email, " Dear Short Attention What? Are guys real? Heard a rumor you were simply some writers from Cartoon Networks' Adult Swim just fucking around. Any truth to that rumor?"

Good Email Jonah. For that you win this Squidbillies Booty Hunter Hat

And also this copy of the Squidbillies Volume 2



As well as this Tim and Eric Awesome Show, great job Art Print:



And Jonah, these gifts may or may not come signed from some certain people....



Our second place winner this month is Arnie B. from New York City, with an email that said, "How dare you call out two young athletes for something you have no idea about, you lil motha fu- , you basement hiding, geeky tool!!! Go Gators!"

Arnie, you win 3 Chicken dinners to Kenny Loggins Roaster (Includes two sides and a drink).



And this signed autograph picture of the greatest quarterback to ever play in the state of Florida.







And our 3rd prize winner was Dale from Gainesville, Florida. Dales winning email simply read, "This is in response to the Future NFL Rookie of the years post- It's called Gatorade!"

Not original, seeing as Chan had already posted this witty response in the comments section of the post, but it still made us smirk. So, Dale you win a ten dollar bill and 5 unlabeled CDs (not all too scratched up) that we found in our various cars and have not even listened to them to confirm what they are.

Was Bobby Bowden on the take?

We have been receiving loads of angry email about this post http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/future-rookie-of-years-in-gainesville.htm The hate is coming mainly from Florida Gator fans. They claim the Short Attention What? Sports Dept. have a pro FSU bias. And while it is true that the majority of the SAW? Sports Department are indeed Florida State University Graduates, we plan to prove to you that this will not lead to a bias on this site. Now, we know that the photos of Dunkley and Elam may very well be pretty damning. So, we have set out to find equally damning photos of FSU. It took us some time, but we finally found one.


This photo was taken while Bobby Bowden was still head coach of FSU... And now it becomes suddenly obvious why so many games were lost to the Miami Hurricanes.



Was Bowden on the take? Can't say for sure, but he sure acted over the top, pretending he had nothing to do with the installation of magnetic football repelling goal posts that were obviously used for the Wide Right and Left games as seen below...



-Marq S
Short Attention What? Sports department Head Chief Assistant to the Assistant of the lowest man on the Board of Sports and Billboards Department




also, do not forget to send an email and have chance to win. details here http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/this-blog-is-game-new-monthly-contest.html

Future Rookie of the Years in Gainesville Florida?

Remember the damning pictures of Brian Cushing from his days at USC? These before and after photos were of what was presumed to be a a non-juiced and an indeed-juiced Cushing. Many a USC fan argued back then that the NCAA tested the team so often that there was no way the kid Linebacker was guilty of anything other than spending too much time in the weight room.
Cushing went on to win Rookie of the year this year. The hard hitter then was busted for testing positive for PED. A re-vote was conducted and once again the voters voted him ROY.


Now, out of the University of Florida, these pictures are surfacing of two incoming freshman (Freshman that haven't even been in the program but a handful of months).

incoming 5 star WR CHRIS DUNKLEY:

Before:



After:





incoming 5 star RB/SAFETY MATT ELAM:


Before:




After:



You be the judge. Do these two have what it takes to become NFL Rookies of the year (and then re-voted NFL Rookies of the year again, ala Cushing?)


And then of course there is the case of former Atlanta Brave Jeff Blauser.


Before:



After:






And now, see a future SAW? post that references this very post click here http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/was-bobby-bowden-on-take.html


also, do not forget to send an email and have chance to win. details here http://shortattentionwhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/this-blog-is-game-new-monthly-contest.html