Saturday, July 31, 2010

Video- Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead unknowingly dosed?

That is the assumption after Bass Player Phil Lesh came out the next night and announced, "Never drink out of something you haven't poured yourself." Then Phil hugged his longtime bandmate.

Freakiest late night-T.V. show music performance (that we dig) of the month award goes to.....'s a tie.

With 47 points, we'd like to congratulate them boys from Athens, of Montreal. If you have never heard of them, what I am trying to say, is they live in Montreal, but they call themselves from Athens.. Just messing with your non-of Montreal-knowing mind. It's backwards of what i said. This is actually the bonus, for web only song, that came in with a slightly higher percentage of the votes than the one they performed on the big show. However this one prevailed, probably cause the song is really pretty kick ass!

and then theres this....

-Barnabie Hector

Director, Short Attention What? Music Department /Co-Chairman of the Board of North Wing Operations. As well as SAW? Music Dept. Lone Western Music Studies Historian, and I wouldn't want to forget the fact that my title also includes Short Attention What? Music Department Vice assistant/co-president day to day operations.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Woah..Antonio Gates R E S I G N S, but Bobby Johnson R E S I G N S

First, in shocking news out of San Diego....Tight End Antonio Gates has called it quits. The stories are being reported that Antionio Gates has R E S I G N E D , 5 years (played we guess), 36 million (earned we suppose). So, I guess 5 years of football and 36 million dollars has made him happy enough to retire. Good for him. Antonio you were a great player who walked away at the top of his game.

Second: We forgot to report that Head Vandy Football coach has inked a new deal. Reports we have come across say Vandy head coach Bobby Johnson has R E S I G N E D, eight years. Good to hear that we will have Johnson around coaching the in the SEC for another 8 years.

Not sure which Font to use? Here is a guide.

Feel free to use Cracked Guide to fonts to truly understand the meaning of fonts. Dig.

Click on image a couple times to enlargen.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


in strange tron-like graphic.

For larger view, click on photo. And for an even larger view, click on it again. If you click on it again, though, it'll shrink again. But then, with one more click, it becomes bigger again. And then if you click on it again, well you get the idea.

Wondering how many that saw the movie are more confused now after digesting the graphic (We encourage comments in the comment section below)

And for those that hadn't seen the movie, I suppose I should have said SPOILER ALERT


Good. Now, that I got that out of the way, I should tell you that at the end of the Crying Game you find out that the girl is really a dude. And the thing about that movie the Sixth Sense is that the boy sees dead people.

Shandel Levy Ritchartson
Your Short Attention What? in house Movie Spolier

Just so you know!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Was Bobby Bowden on the take?

We have been receiving loads of angry email about this post The hate is coming mainly from Florida Gator fans. They claim the Short Attention What? Sports Dept. have a pro FSU bias. And while it is true that the majority of the SAW? Sports Department are indeed Florida State University Graduates, we plan to prove to you that this will not lead to a bias on this site. Now, we know that the photos of Dunkley and Elam may very well be pretty damning. So, we have set out to find equally damning photos of FSU. It took us some time, but we finally found one.

This photo was taken while Bobby Bowden was still head coach of FSU... And now it becomes suddenly obvious why so many games were lost to the Miami Hurricanes.

Was Bowden on the take? Can't say for sure, but he sure acted over the top, pretending he had nothing to do with the installation of magnetic football repelling goal posts that were obviously used for the Wide Right and Left games as seen below...

-Marq S
Short Attention What? Sports department Head Chief Assistant to the Assistant of the lowest man on the Board of Sports and Billboards Department

also, do not forget to send an email and have chance to win. details here

Monday, July 26, 2010

Jimmy McNulty is now police for the Baltimore Orioles...and well, McNulty

could have been hungover, give the guy a break..

I mean I know he and his crew of Baltimore Police look a lil lazy, but jeesh, if you only knew how much he and Bunk put down last night at the bar...

Jesus Coffee

Hey- Marnie here. Short Attention What? Agnostic Coffee Snob. Got going to work this morning at 7:30 in the A.M. As I was getting going out of my neighborhood of the beautiful Virginia Highlands area of Atlanta (go ahead and feel free to pronounce the At as HOT, cause god damnit- it is motha friggin swealtering!) As I approached the light at the corner of Virginia and Park I see a young man with a sign that reads "I love my Neighbors". So, mockingly of course, I blew him a kiss. Well that was a bad idea. Next thing I know I have a man and his kid running across the street to greet me. Turns out they are with a church and are giving away free coffee this morning. These people had no idea that I am agnostic, nor that I am a coffee snob. Aww hell, I took it anyway. Sipped the damn thing and typed this at the very next light.


It is now 8:02 in the A.M. and I have arrived at my workplace. I gotta admit, coffee ain't bad. And this is coming from someone who has kicked out multiple people of my house for entering with starbucks. Hell, once I did not even let my own mom enter the house due to her foldgers coffee carrying hand. And before I get any backlash for that one, keep in mind foldgers coffee's ugly scent can and will linger in one's obode for upwards of 70 minutes. So, yes I am indeed a coffee snob, but this church shit ain't that bad.


It is now 8:17 in the morning part of the day and suddenly the Jesus Coffee is telling me to get up out of my seat and rush to the bathroom. Coming out of the bathroom, I felt like a new woman. I felt lighter and clensed! I greeted the next person I saw with a "Have a blessed day." What the ? I have never said that before. Is this coffee converting me? Praise Jesus. What? Where did that come from? But it was true, the coffee was making me a believer.


It is now 8:45 and I am a bbbbbit ssssshhh shhhh shhhhakey. I thh th th think it is th th the je je je jesus coffee. Damn you jesus coffee! I don't like it. And, I am not sure you are who they say you are. I mean, sure I think there is something out there big, but just not sure what it is. And I am not too keen on that coffee of yours anymore either! Awww feeling like myself again.

SAW? in House- Agnostic Coffeee Snob.

Right Field Memoirs 2

It was a Thursday Night and there was awesome wrestling on tonight. Macho Man Randy Savage was wrestling tonight, and guess where I would be spending my time? Yep, right field. Boring ass right field. The second inning was particularly bad this night. Our pitchers suck, so there are a lot of walks; and a lot of time for me to become increasingly impatient, and impatiently increasing. I kick in the air like I was Carlos Huerta against Michigan. Huerta capped off an amazing game that night. I snap my fingers, punch my glove. Seems I'm always punching my glove. It was one of few impatient gestures that are acceptable in this strange exersise of solitary. This place is boring. BOOOOOOOOORRRRIIIINNGG. Even the Macho Man figured that out.

He was smart enough to play catcher. But even from his catcher position, you get a glimpse of the right fielder. And I am almost certain that the sight of absolute boredom (of which is any and all right fielders) certainly made Savage extremely bored himself. It is somewhat impossible to watch a very bored person being agonizingly bored and not catch a bit of that(as if it were a yawn). And this, in my mind, HAS to be the reason Macho Man Savage left Minor League Ball for the confines of WWF Wrestling. You know Macho Man's brother is Leaping Lanny Poffo? The genious (and yes genius is mispelled, spell check politely pointed that out to me, but I didn't have the guts to correct that kind of gramatical irony. And yes I am now seeing that mispelled and gramatical are misspelled as well, and they won't be corrected either, cause I'm a word rebel yo). So, Leaping Lanny Poffo, the genius is Randy Macho Man Savage's bro

Leaping and Machoi's daddy was a famous wrestler as well- Angelo Poffo.

And if you believe wikipedia (which at the time of this right field memoir- hadn't been invented yet- due to it still being the eighties) but if you believe this futuristic know-it-all machine of knowledge to be known as wikipedia, then you would know that the elder Poffo once broke the most sit ups in ten minute world record.

Angelo Poffo was in the Navy when he stepped it up..errr I mean, sitted it up! The record had been set at an even 5,000 situps. However, the feat had a victim. The victim? The man himself. The man who broke the most sit up in 10 minutes world record died, falling victim to the brutal killer known as situps (or a broken abdominal aorta). So when Poffo broke the record with 6,033-he was just glad it didn't kill him. By the way, the last 33 sit ups were in honor of every year Poffo's Lord and/or Savior Jesus Christ lived. And his son, Randy the Macho Man Savage is bout to Wrestle. But can't see it! Gawd damnit! Nope, I am stuck out here in the most boring place in the world. Gawd, I fuckin hate right field.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

This is for Chan

White People Beware....

This Billboard speaks to you, my Caucasian brethren.....seems we just can't catch a break in the states these days.,,,


Short Attention What? token Caucasian

New Tom Robbins Book?

Well, ok, not really. But it is a book containing conversations with Tom Robbins wisely titled "Conversations with Tom Robbins"

"Conversations with Tom Robbins" consists of more than 20 interviews or (as we like to repeat and repeat in this post) more than 20 "Conversations with Tom Robbins".

Learn more about Conversations with Tom Robbins here:


Future Rookie of the Years in Gainesville Florida?

Remember the damning pictures of Brian Cushing from his days at USC? These before and after photos were of what was presumed to be a a non-juiced and an indeed-juiced Cushing. Many a USC fan argued back then that the NCAA tested the team so often that there was no way the kid Linebacker was guilty of anything other than spending too much time in the weight room.
Cushing went on to win Rookie of the year this year. The hard hitter then was busted for testing positive for PED. A re-vote was conducted and once again the voters voted him ROY.

Now, out of the University of Florida, these pictures are surfacing of two incoming freshman (Freshman that haven't even been in the program but a handful of months).

incoming 5 star WR CHRIS DUNKLEY:



incoming 5 star RB/SAFETY MATT ELAM:



You be the judge. Do these two have what it takes to become NFL Rookies of the year (and then re-voted NFL Rookies of the year again, ala Cushing?)

And then of course there is the case of former Atlanta Brave Jeff Blauser.



And now, see a future SAW? post that references this very post click here

also, do not forget to send an email and have chance to win. details here

Friday, July 23, 2010

Is this poster for the upcoming thanksgiving classic or was this from last years game?


All one would have to do to win the SAW? monthly contest this month is send an email to with anything you feel like saying, plus a shipping address and you are entered to win! Do it now, before the month ends....

take a look at previous winners:

Our Office Clock

We here at Short Attention What? don't mess around when it comes to clock purchases for the office. Here is our most recent addition.

This one stays in my office.

Marq S
Short Attention What? Billboard and Clock Dept.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Oh now, Tyrone Baker, No you didn't!

In honor of Mr. Urban Meyer, we will use his own quote to caption this one:

"top one percent, of the top one percent"

Marq S
Short Attention What? Billboard Department

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Calvin's Quotables # 4

Hi this is Maria from Accounting. I was kind of the one who let everyone in on the brilliance that are the statements made by my fellow accounting department employee at SAW?- Calvin. So it brings me great pleasure to bring this one to you....

Calvin ( pictured here doing what he does) came into the office today explaining how he goes out of his way to save animals.

I simply said to him, "I presume the next time you-" But that was all I could get out before Calvin cut me off with this the fourth in the series of Calvin's Quotables:

"Never presume. Never ever presume! For when you presume, you wind up making an ass out of You and Me!"

thanks Calvin-

Short Attention What? Accounting Dept.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Right Field Memoirs 1

I'm bored reminds me of the most boring time of my life.

The Bee Silver Record Store Yankees were taking on my team, Chan's Taco Shop of Athens Westsides. It was 4th inning, the score was 7-6 Westsides...and to be completely honest, I did not give a shit. I played right field. So my half inning consisted of standing 30 yards from anyone. All the action, I MEAN EVERY SINGLE BIT OF ACTION in that 4th inning happened in the infield. The half inning lasted 26 minutes. The Yankees scored several runs. I didn't care I was just so damn bored. It sucked! I stood around, I looked at the sky. I looked at the ground. I closed my eyes, punched my glove and whistled all at the same time. I stood on one leg and took a practice swing with an imaginary bat. I thought about that movie Back to the Future and all it meant to me. I also pondered the show Alf. I did not like Alf. And I did not like right field.

Coming soon: The Right Field Memoirs 2

Thursday, July 15, 2010

BREAKING: News leaking on the Lebron Fiasco

Lebron James is learning that this is a Damned if you do-Damned if you don't world. He would have caught shit no matter where, how or when he inked with his next NBA squad. We get that. However, the news that has just come to light is completely unacceptable!

We here at Short Attention What? have just learned that not only has King Lebron left Cleveland, but it has now become apparent that James WASN'T EVEN BORN IN CLEVELAND!!!

Where was the King born, you ask? Where else? KENYA! (see Birth Certificate below)

Yep, how can we call this man King when he wasn't even born here!

And to top things off, Short Attention What? reporter Teddy Bren Kurt is now reporting that during Lebron's decision making show entitled "the Decision" he decided to use of all things- a TELEPROMPTER!!!! Gasp! Good reporting Teddy.

Just another example of Lebron James taking away our freedoms...

Teddy Bren Kurt

P.S. The use of my name in third person during this write up was an homage to the King himself (King of Kenya that is-James)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The man most famous for....

George Steinbrenner, the man most famous for having Larry David portray his voice on the show Seinfeld, finally kicked the bucket. Not sure what else he did in his life, but for having Lawrence David voice your character on Seinfeld, you will forever be missed.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Breaking: Drudge reports a positive story on the Obamas

This just in: It appears Matt Drudge of the Drudge report has finally done it. The political blogger shocked the world by linking a positive article about the Obamas and actually used a positive tone in the title of the link. Once he realized what he did, he quickly changed it. So, while this was indeed breaking. It has now broke, and they done gone and fixed it. So there is nothing to see here, move along.

Coming soon: Huff Po praises Palin. Then quickly fixes their mistake.


First in the Country's Third most popular sport, Bron Bron James declares he is taking his talents to South Beach (which by the way, is not where the Heat play...but that is neither here nor there-it is actually located here at 601 Biscayne Blvd Miami, FL 33132)

Then, in the country's second most popular sport, the Miami Hurricanes sign number one rated college football prospect Seantrel Henderson.

Now, it gives us great honor to be able to say that in the nations MOST popular sport, the Miami Dolphins have traded for the most sought after NFLer in Peyton Manning.

At an undisclosed location Manning told Short Attention What? Sports Reporter Teddy Bren Kurt:

"I will be taking my talents to 2269 Dan Marino Blvd
Miami Gardens, FL 33056
where I will play for the Miami Dolphins."

The Manning stuff hasn't quite happened yet, but if it did, and it was reported to our staff, that is how we would have reported it.

-Short Attention What? Sports reporter
-Teddy Bren Kurt