BREAKING: News leaking on the Lebron Fiasco

Lebron James is learning that this is a Damned if you do-Damned if you don't world. He would have caught shit no matter where, how or when he inked with his next NBA squad. We get that. However, the news that has just come to light is completely unacceptable!

We here at Short Attention What? have just learned that not only has King Lebron left Cleveland, but it has now become apparent that James WASN'T EVEN BORN IN CLEVELAND!!!

Where was the King born, you ask? Where else? KENYA! (see Birth Certificate below)

Yep, how can we call this man King when he wasn't even born here!

And to top things off, Short Attention What? reporter Teddy Bren Kurt is now reporting that during Lebron's decision making show entitled "the Decision" he decided to use of all things- a TELEPROMPTER!!!! Gasp! Good reporting Teddy.

Just another example of Lebron James taking away our freedoms...

yours-

Teddy Bren Kurt

P.S. The use of my name in third person during this write up was an homage to the King himself (King of Kenya that is-James)