Monday, July 26, 2010

Right Field Memoirs 2

It was a Thursday Night and there was awesome wrestling on tonight. Macho Man Randy Savage was wrestling tonight, and guess where I would be spending my time? Yep, right field. Boring ass right field. The second inning was particularly bad this night. Our pitchers suck, so there are a lot of walks; and a lot of time for me to become increasingly impatient, and impatiently increasing. I kick in the air like I was Carlos Huerta against Michigan. Huerta capped off an amazing game that night. I snap my fingers, punch my glove. Seems I'm always punching my glove. It was one of few impatient gestures that are acceptable in this strange exersise of solitary. This place is boring. BOOOOOOOOORRRRIIIINNGG. Even the Macho Man figured that out.

He was smart enough to play catcher. But even from his catcher position, you get a glimpse of the right fielder. And I am almost certain that the sight of absolute boredom (of which is any and all right fielders) certainly made Savage extremely bored himself. It is somewhat impossible to watch a very bored person being agonizingly bored and not catch a bit of that(as if it were a yawn). And this, in my mind, HAS to be the reason Macho Man Savage left Minor League Ball for the confines of WWF Wrestling. You know Macho Man's brother is Leaping Lanny Poffo? The genious (and yes genius is mispelled, spell check politely pointed that out to me, but I didn't have the guts to correct that kind of gramatical irony. And yes I am now seeing that mispelled and gramatical are misspelled as well, and they won't be corrected either, cause I'm a word rebel yo). So, Leaping Lanny Poffo, the genius is Randy Macho Man Savage's bro

Leaping and Machoi's daddy was a famous wrestler as well- Angelo Poffo.

And if you believe wikipedia (which at the time of this right field memoir- hadn't been invented yet- due to it still being the eighties) but if you believe this futuristic know-it-all machine of knowledge to be known as wikipedia, then you would know that the elder Poffo once broke the most sit ups in ten minute world record.

Angelo Poffo was in the Navy when he stepped it up..errr I mean, sitted it up! The record had been set at an even 5,000 situps. However, the feat had a victim. The victim? The man himself. The man who broke the most sit up in 10 minutes world record died, falling victim to the brutal killer known as situps (or a broken abdominal aorta). So when Poffo broke the record with 6,033-he was just glad it didn't kill him. By the way, the last 33 sit ups were in honor of every year Poffo's Lord and/or Savior Jesus Christ lived. And his son, Randy the Macho Man Savage is bout to Wrestle. But can't see it! Gawd damnit! Nope, I am stuck out here in the most boring place in the world. Gawd, I fuckin hate right field.

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